Two Friday evenings ago, my friends and I met and shared several bottles of beer at our usual haunt, Chickenboy. Most of my drinking buddies were there (its comforting that there are a few people left to have beer with even after April and Jumi have already forsaken us for greener pastures, and while Mark is still trapped in the not-so-green pasture of Los Banos): Doti, Selena, Lope, and Joel. Even some of our friends from the College of Law, people I have not seen for some months until that night, were there: A-man, Maja, Dex, and Ayie.
At around 11 PM shouts and other sounds of violence erupted from across the street at Meatshop (the bar which that entire area along Xavierville Avenue, Quezon City is named after). Some dudes were punching and kicking other dudes, throwing Monobloc chairs and tables left and right, breaking beer bottles, and threatening anyone who dared direct a stare or even a glance at them. It was the worst scene of violence I have witnessed my whole life, and I have been party to quite a few.
The funny thing is that whenever I invite people to drink at Chickenboy, I always tell them how peaceful the whole area is; how, in the more than two years of frequenting the place at least once a month, I have never seen any fight break out. I always boast of how people from vastly diverse walks of life, from tricycle driver to Miriam student, from UP fratman to Ateneo A-boy, from MBA to Law grad student, peacefully coexist while drinking their favorite brews and partaking of Chickenboy’s/Meatshop’s/Café Ysabela’s cheap but yummy “pulutan”.
I think that hideous incident just goes to show that no place is really ever safe, that no person can really be free of the violent tendencies of some people. I mean, for some, even the home is no place for peace and tranquility: there are bickering siblings, nagging wives (or husbands, take your pick), screaming, biting, and crying children, and audibly, and sometimes violently, arguing parents. Sometimes, this is exactly the reason why we drink with friends outside (and not along the street “just outside”) the house: to get far away from the troubles that often emanate from our very homes.
One unassailable truth one can be derived from all of this: violence will happen if it will happen, no matter who or where you are. The only thing one can do is be prepared when it does happen. How? By buying new rubber shoes so that you can run faster at the first hint of trouble. (FILA shoes are on sale. You can buy a decent pair of FILA running shoes for only Php 1,500.)
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Top 5 Things That Will Help You Get Over a Painful Break-up
5. Beer with Friends
Two years ago, this would have been number 1 in my list. Beer is the opiate of the depressed, the panacea for universal heartache. Add a smattering of true and trusted friends and you'll be on your way to a worry-free evening of blissfull sleep. Until the next day at least, when a killer headache rudely wakes you up, and the realization that you're still miserable and alone brutally hits you...
4. Overtime Work
When you were still with your girlfriend, you probably had to skip overtime work lots of times just to spend more time with her. Then you realize that the more you see her, the more money you have to spend (not that you're complaining, of course); and that money could have come from an extra couple of hours of overtime work. But now that you're single again, you won't have any reason not to do any extra work anymore, and you'll be awash in extra cash every payday. The funny thing is, you won't have anything to spend your extra money on since your girlfriend is no longer around. What a bummer!
3. Mountain Climbing
On the weekend after the break-up, I and my friends went to Laiya, Batangas and hiked to the peak of Mt. Daguldol. When going up mountains, you'll definitely wont have time to think of anything else except how to successfully reach the peak without fainting from severe loss of breath or slipping off the edge of the trail. Mountain climbing, hiking, trekking, or any form of semi-strenuous activity will definitely take your mind off any emotional distraction. When you reach the summit, though, you might start wondering why you're spending a cold, rainy night shivering inside a tent with another guy who reeks of alcohol just like you do, when you could have been home snuggling beside your lady love had you not foolishly screwed up your relationship with her...
2. Final Fantasy XII
Playing this game will definitely make you forget that you are in the middle of a pretty ghastly break-up; in fact, it will even make you forget that you have an actual real life that you must attend to. The game departs significantly from the previous installments of the franchise; it has a more mature and violent feel to it, unlike the more wholesome plotlines and gameplays of past versions. Since I got hold of it, I've spent some 30 plus hours playing the game (and I'm still far from done), and more than a week of insufficient sleep. Who needs a girlfriend when you have Ashe and Penelo running around with you across the hot Dalmasca Westersand? (A geek with no friends and no life, that's who...)
1. Porn
Enough said.
Two years ago, this would have been number 1 in my list. Beer is the opiate of the depressed, the panacea for universal heartache. Add a smattering of true and trusted friends and you'll be on your way to a worry-free evening of blissfull sleep. Until the next day at least, when a killer headache rudely wakes you up, and the realization that you're still miserable and alone brutally hits you...
 |
| From Chickenboy: A... |
4. Overtime Work
When you were still with your girlfriend, you probably had to skip overtime work lots of times just to spend more time with her. Then you realize that the more you see her, the more money you have to spend (not that you're complaining, of course); and that money could have come from an extra couple of hours of overtime work. But now that you're single again, you won't have any reason not to do any extra work anymore, and you'll be awash in extra cash every payday. The funny thing is, you won't have anything to spend your extra money on since your girlfriend is no longer around. What a bummer!
3. Mountain Climbing
On the weekend after the break-up, I and my friends went to Laiya, Batangas and hiked to the peak of Mt. Daguldol. When going up mountains, you'll definitely wont have time to think of anything else except how to successfully reach the peak without fainting from severe loss of breath or slipping off the edge of the trail. Mountain climbing, hiking, trekking, or any form of semi-strenuous activity will definitely take your mind off any emotional distraction. When you reach the summit, though, you might start wondering why you're spending a cold, rainy night shivering inside a tent with another guy who reeks of alcohol just like you do, when you could have been home snuggling beside your lady love had you not foolishly screwed up your relationship with her...
 |
| From Daguldol: Nol... |
2. Final Fantasy XII
Playing this game will definitely make you forget that you are in the middle of a pretty ghastly break-up; in fact, it will even make you forget that you have an actual real life that you must attend to. The game departs significantly from the previous installments of the franchise; it has a more mature and violent feel to it, unlike the more wholesome plotlines and gameplays of past versions. Since I got hold of it, I've spent some 30 plus hours playing the game (and I'm still far from done), and more than a week of insufficient sleep. Who needs a girlfriend when you have Ashe and Penelo running around with you across the hot Dalmasca Westersand? (A geek with no friends and no life, that's who...)
1. Porn
Enough said.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Top 5 Break-up Poems
5. An obscure poem by an equally obscure poet (I don't know if we can even call him that). Read on.
Angel's Parting
by Anonymous
Why did you come to my life, my angel?
Are you the 'angel of death'
Who came to take me away?
If so, let me take one last look at your eyes
One last touch of your hand
One last smell of your breath
And I'll gladly give you my life
I'd rather die
Than live a life
Without you by my side
Why did you love me, my angel?
Did you do it out of pity?
Or did you do it out of the kindness
Of your heart?
Whatever the reason, I thank you
It was all I ever wanted
It was all I ever needed
With tears in my eyes, I give you my love
I'd rather love you and cry
Than live a life
Without you by my side
Why must we part now, my angel?
Is not our love enough
To forever bind our hearts?
Yes, for your heart is no more mine
Than my life is
Than my love is
And now I give you my heart
Which is broken
For tomorrow I struggle
With living a lifeWithout you by my side.
4. The message of this song by Imago is actually akin to that of entry number 2.
Taning
by Imago
Sa'n mapupulot ang pag-asa
May katuwiran ba ang sala
Ngiti ko ang iyong galak
Langit ko ang iyong kandungan
Permiso sa isang araw na makasama ka
Abiso ng pusong bulag na humahanga
Tama bang aminin na nating may taning
‘Tong pag-ibig natin
Dakila man walang kasaysayang kakapit
Sa bulag na pag-ibig
Sa'n hihingi ng patawad
Kung walang dalang dahilan
Tangis ko ang iyong pagluha
Nais ko ang iyong kalayaan
3. This old high school favorite always makes an appearance whenever break-ups happen. Why do we only realize the value of what we once had when we have already lost it?
Black
by Pearl Jam
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
And all I taught her was everything
I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
The pictures have all been washed in black
Tattooed everything
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
And twisted thoughts that spin round my head
How quick the sun can drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why,
Why, why can't it be,
Why can't it be mine?
2. I actually emailed her this one at the end of our two-month (or three, if you count July) adventure. It just seemed so appropriate at that time...
When the Vacation is Over for Good
by Mark Strand
It will be strange
Knowing at last it couldn’t go on forever
The certain voice telling us over and over
That nothing would change,
And remembering too,
Because by then it will all be done with, the way
Things were, and how we had wasted time as though
There was nothing to do,
When, in a flash
The weather turned, and the lofty air became
Unbearably heavy, the wind strikingly dumb
And our cities like ash,
And knowing also,
What we never suspected, that it was something like summer
At its most august except that the nights were warmer
And the clouds seemed to glow
And even then,
Because we will not have changed much, wondering what
Will become of things, and who will be left to do it
All over again,
And somehow trying,
But still unable, to know just what it was
That went so completely wrong, or why it is
We are dying
1. I've liked this poem for as long as I can remember, but it was only last night when I accidentally discovered how eerily it captures my sentiments exactly. Someone had actually called me trite for liking this poem. Well, fuck her.
Tonight I Can Write
By Pablo Neruda
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, "The night is starryand the blue sky shivers in the distance."
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes?
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her.
To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.
This is all.
In the distance someone is singing.
In the distance, my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's.
She will be another's.
As my kisses were before.
Her voice, her bright body.
Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms,
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
And these the last verses that I write for her.
Angel's Parting
by Anonymous
Why did you come to my life, my angel?
Are you the 'angel of death'
Who came to take me away?
If so, let me take one last look at your eyes
One last touch of your hand
One last smell of your breath
And I'll gladly give you my life
I'd rather die
Than live a life
Without you by my side
Why did you love me, my angel?
Did you do it out of pity?
Or did you do it out of the kindness
Of your heart?
Whatever the reason, I thank you
It was all I ever wanted
It was all I ever needed
With tears in my eyes, I give you my love
I'd rather love you and cry
Than live a life
Without you by my side
Why must we part now, my angel?
Is not our love enough
To forever bind our hearts?
Yes, for your heart is no more mine
Than my life is
Than my love is
And now I give you my heart
Which is broken
For tomorrow I struggle
With living a lifeWithout you by my side.
4. The message of this song by Imago is actually akin to that of entry number 2.
Taning
by Imago
Sa'n mapupulot ang pag-asa
May katuwiran ba ang sala
Ngiti ko ang iyong galak
Langit ko ang iyong kandungan
Permiso sa isang araw na makasama ka
Abiso ng pusong bulag na humahanga
Tama bang aminin na nating may taning
‘Tong pag-ibig natin
Dakila man walang kasaysayang kakapit
Sa bulag na pag-ibig
Sa'n hihingi ng patawad
Kung walang dalang dahilan
Tangis ko ang iyong pagluha
Nais ko ang iyong kalayaan
3. This old high school favorite always makes an appearance whenever break-ups happen. Why do we only realize the value of what we once had when we have already lost it?
Black
by Pearl Jam
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
And all I taught her was everything
I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
The pictures have all been washed in black
Tattooed everything
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
And twisted thoughts that spin round my head
How quick the sun can drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why,
Why, why can't it be,
Why can't it be mine?
2. I actually emailed her this one at the end of our two-month (or three, if you count July) adventure. It just seemed so appropriate at that time...
When the Vacation is Over for Good
by Mark Strand
It will be strange
Knowing at last it couldn’t go on forever
The certain voice telling us over and over
That nothing would change,
And remembering too,
Because by then it will all be done with, the way
Things were, and how we had wasted time as though
There was nothing to do,
When, in a flash
The weather turned, and the lofty air became
Unbearably heavy, the wind strikingly dumb
And our cities like ash,
And knowing also,
What we never suspected, that it was something like summer
At its most august except that the nights were warmer
And the clouds seemed to glow
And even then,
Because we will not have changed much, wondering what
Will become of things, and who will be left to do it
All over again,
And somehow trying,
But still unable, to know just what it was
That went so completely wrong, or why it is
We are dying
1. I've liked this poem for as long as I can remember, but it was only last night when I accidentally discovered how eerily it captures my sentiments exactly. Someone had actually called me trite for liking this poem. Well, fuck her.
Tonight I Can Write
By Pablo Neruda
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, "The night is starryand the blue sky shivers in the distance."
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes?
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her.
To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.
This is all.
In the distance someone is singing.
In the distance, my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's.
She will be another's.
As my kisses were before.
Her voice, her bright body.
Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms,
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
And these the last verses that I write for her.
On My Recent Breakup: Certainties and Uncertainties
It's been, what, sixteen days since I last spoke with her.
I don't really know how I'm doing now. I would like to think that I'm fine, but since I suffer more pangs of regret and depression than the average dude, I seriously doubt that.
But I broke up with her, didn't I? I asked for this, didn't I? So what the fuck am I complaining about???
I don't know. This, by far, has been the most painful break-up for me. Why? I'm not really sure if it's because I still love her so fucking much, or if it just pains me so much to be so sure that after just sixteen days of not being together, she already got over me. Or maybe I'm feeling this much pain because of both reasons. I don't know. I'm really not sure of anything anymore.
But there's something I have to figure out soon: Now that she's gone, what am I going to do with the rest of my life? In the past sixteen days I've been juggling a some thoughts: pursue my previously foregone application for a PhD at several US universities (time is running out for this one, tick tock), get into teaching next academic year and pursue either a Law degree or an MA in Economics from UP, spend the next five years at P&A (definitely not an option if I'll spend that considerable chunk of my lifetime with my insufferable current client), or pursue one of my business ideas (before that BASTARD beats me to it). I'm still unsure of what I'll do... The deadline for the PhD application for 2007 is at the end of the year, and I still have tons to do in terms of requirements. To keep my options open, I'll send applications to the schools of Law and Economics, and send feelers to my contact at the Ateneo for a possible future teaching job. But right now I'm staying put; it isn't so bad anyway. P&A is a nice organization to work for, particularly the CorFin division, as all the people are so nice and so energetic and so young, just like me! HAHAHA! Well, as long as I don't dwell so much on how much a pain my client is, I think I'll be fine.
Fuck. Looking again at that last tirade, I'm beginning to think that maybe I am fine. How can anyone ever be sure? To quote Neruda: "The night is starry and she is not with me. That is all." Yes, the only thing I'm certain of right now is that she is not with me. Everything else is as unpredictable as the result of Ginebra's next game.
I don't really know how I'm doing now. I would like to think that I'm fine, but since I suffer more pangs of regret and depression than the average dude, I seriously doubt that.
But I broke up with her, didn't I? I asked for this, didn't I? So what the fuck am I complaining about???
I don't know. This, by far, has been the most painful break-up for me. Why? I'm not really sure if it's because I still love her so fucking much, or if it just pains me so much to be so sure that after just sixteen days of not being together, she already got over me. Or maybe I'm feeling this much pain because of both reasons. I don't know. I'm really not sure of anything anymore.
But there's something I have to figure out soon: Now that she's gone, what am I going to do with the rest of my life? In the past sixteen days I've been juggling a some thoughts: pursue my previously foregone application for a PhD at several US universities (time is running out for this one, tick tock), get into teaching next academic year and pursue either a Law degree or an MA in Economics from UP, spend the next five years at P&A (definitely not an option if I'll spend that considerable chunk of my lifetime with my insufferable current client), or pursue one of my business ideas (before that BASTARD beats me to it). I'm still unsure of what I'll do... The deadline for the PhD application for 2007 is at the end of the year, and I still have tons to do in terms of requirements. To keep my options open, I'll send applications to the schools of Law and Economics, and send feelers to my contact at the Ateneo for a possible future teaching job. But right now I'm staying put; it isn't so bad anyway. P&A is a nice organization to work for, particularly the CorFin division, as all the people are so nice and so energetic and so young, just like me! HAHAHA! Well, as long as I don't dwell so much on how much a pain my client is, I think I'll be fine.
Fuck. Looking again at that last tirade, I'm beginning to think that maybe I am fine. How can anyone ever be sure? To quote Neruda: "The night is starry and she is not with me. That is all." Yes, the only thing I'm certain of right now is that she is not with me. Everything else is as unpredictable as the result of Ginebra's next game.
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